Firecraker isn’t the only good business this holiday. Nor is it the most noisy. It’s the time of the year again when people would pay up just to be told of disasters waiting to happen, celebrity break-ups and ways to achieve consistent sexlife. (Higher tip if you tell them that 2014 is their year because their year-animal and the wooden horse are friends/frenemies in some cosmic place where animals party and decide worldy events. No explanation needed.)
Just give an unclear prediction - the graver the better- wait for 365 days/chances. If it does not happen, people will forget. If it does happen, call your friends at magpa-press conference. Small investment, high return. Since media has nothing to report much, you are assured of an airtime and talent fee. It’s the best time to be a psychic!
A Feng Shui expert was asked for his prediction for 2014, with a serious face he predicted that another disaster would hit the country. (Wow ha! Bagong bago ang prediction)
To be fair to the feng shui master, Philippines is situated on the ring of fire, gets visited by at least 20 typhoons a year, throw in some yearly earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tsunamis and … you get the idea.
Another psychic predicted that Maja and Gerald would fall out of love on 2014. And that a marriage would end up in divorce.
I’m sure the Kim Chuisters or whatever her fans call themselves are happy with this development but what do I and the rest of the country care? I’m sure Kim fans have better use of their day-offs too? Divorse rates are on the rise and since showbiz isn’t exactly marriage-friendly, there’s bound to be a break up along the 365-day limit.
I would suggest that we hold pyschics with their predictions and jail them if they are wrong but who am I kidding? That would mean force migration of the believers too, say somewhere in Spratlys? Let them create a new country with Madame Auring as their appointed goddess.
It would be a real new year for the country indeed.